Parenting as an Anxious Momma

 Dealing with Anxiety as a Black Momma

Hey Y'all!

We all know the struggle is real. Between being a Black woman in this world, the pressure to be the "Strong Black Woman," and the ever-present thrum of anxiety, motherhood can feel like juggling flaming chainsaws while balancing on a tightrope. But hold on, Momma –we've got this!

Why is Anxiety Different for Black Mamas?

Being Black in America comes with its own set of stressors. Microaggressions, racial profiling, and the constant fight for justice can take a toll on our mental well-being. Then there's the pressure to embody the "Strong Black Woman" trope, which can make it hard to admit we struggle with anxiety. But guess what? Anxiety doesn't discriminate. It can hit any of us, no matter how strong our melanin is.

For me, this is always a sensitive subject. I am always questioning because my anxiety has taken over my life, especially in the last 5 years. I have noticed the changes and I know my kid has too. I'm not the same and it affected us both. I don’t have the same motivation as I usually have, my energy is nonexistent and all I do is WORK. It was a moment I rarely talked to my daughter. I would literally come home from work, lay in the bed and scroll tirelessly on my phone. I was a provider, not a parent. 

Parenting with Anxiety: It's Okay, Not Easy

Let's be honest, sometimes that anxious voice in our heads can make parenting feel overwhelming. Will my child be safe in this world? Am I doing enough? These worries can paralyze us. But here's the thing: Our children need us, anxious or not. They thrive on our love and connection, and that's what makes us amazing moms.

Here are some tips for managing anxiety as a Black Momma:

• Self-Care Ain't Selfish: Take a damn bath, sis! Schedule some time for yourself, even if it's just 10 minutes to breathe and listen to your favorite song.

• Find Your Village: Connect with other Black mamas who understand. Talk therapy can also be a lifesaver.

• Challenge the "Strong Black Woman" Myth: It's okay to not be okay. Show your kids that vulnerability is strength.

• Focus on What You Can Control: You can't control the world, but you can control your own thoughts and reactions. Practice mindfulness and relaxation techniques.

• Celebrate Your Wins (Big and Small): Did you get your little one to eat their veggies? Did you make it through the grocery store without a meltdown? Those are victories, momma!

• Routine is Your Friend: Create a predictable schedule for meals, bedtime, and chores. This provides a sense of stability and reduces anxiety for both you and your child.

• Delegate, Don't Drown: You don't have to be a superhero – ask for help! Involve family, friends, or even babysitters.

• Challenge Negative Thoughts: That anxious voice in your head? It's lying. Practice cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques to challenge negative thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations.

• Mind Your Body: Exercise, healthy eating, and enough sleep are crucial for managing anxiety.

Also, enjoy your kids sis! Live not survive. Money will come back, time won’t. We literally have one time to raise these kids, enjoy it. Work around your kids, don’t make them work around you. We can’t take back time that has passed, but moving forward, we can promise to do better. My kid is 14(15 January 12th). I’m not done parenting her. We had a hard few years, including last year when my baby was running away(another day). We’ve grown through this journey together and it’s more to come. Give yourself grace and definitely follow the vulnerability tip. The best thing you can do is love on you so you can HEALTHILY love on them.