New Year, New You: B.S.

 "New Year, New You"? Let’s Call It What It Is: B.S.

If you’re a Black girl navigating life with anxiety, you’ve probably rolled your eyes a thousand times at the endless stream of "New Year, New You" posts clogging your social feed right now. It's the same story every year: as soon as the clock strikes midnight on January 1st, we’re suddenly supposed to transform into hyper-productive, super-disciplined versions of ourselves, complete with color-coded planners and smoothie bowls. Honestly? It’s exhausting—and deeply unrealistic.

Let’s keep it real: slapping a shiny motivational slogan on top of the same unresolved issues isn’t going to make them magically disappear. If you’re anything like me, you’ve got a list of bad habits, coping mechanisms, and unhelpful thought patterns that didn’t develop overnight. And spoiler alert: they’re not going to disappear overnight either.

But that doesn’t mean we’re stuck. It just means the real work lies in addressing those habits first—and doing it in a way that honors who we are and what we’re going through.

1. Acknowledge the Baggage

Before you can move forward, you’ve got to be honest with yourself about what’s holding you back. Maybe it’s the way you procrastinate on things that stress you out. Maybe you’re stuck in a cycle of negative self-talk or avoiding conflict even when it’s necessary. Whatever it is, give yourself permission to name it without shame. Growth starts with awareness, not denial.

2. Stop Comparing Yourself to "Her"

You know who I’m talking about: that influencer who seems to have it all together. Perfect skin, perfect job, perfect yoga poses. But let’s be real: her feed isn’t her life, and her "new year reset" isn’t your reality. Your journey is your own, and it’s okay if it looks messy and complicated. Progress isn’t linear, and it definitely isn’t Instagram-worthy most of the time.

 3. Focus on One Habit at a Time

Trying to overhaul your entire life in January is a recipe for burnout. Instead, pick one thing to work on—just one. Maybe it’s setting better boundaries or cutting back on doom-scrolling before bed. Maybe it’s finally starting therapy or making a commitment to journal once a week. Small, sustainable changes add up faster than you think. You can literally plan by the day, month or quarter, Organize and plan accordingly.

 4. Have Uncomfortable Conversations

To better "you," the most important task is to have uncomfortable conversations. Talk with others—family, friends, kids, therapists—and get their perspectives on how they see you. If multiple people highlight the same traits, there’s likely truth in it. Use these insights to address flaws, improve communication, and seek growth. Yes, it’s uncomfortable, but real change often is.

 5. Find Your Community

You don’t have to do this alone. Whether it’s a group of friends, an online forum, or a therapist who gets it, surround yourself with people who support your growth. For Black women, spaces that prioritize our unique experiences are especially important. You deserve to feel seen and heard.

 6. Celebrate Small Wins

Every step forward counts, no matter how small it feels. Got through a tough conversation without shutting down? Celebrate that. Took a break when you needed it instead of pushing through? That’s progress. Growth isn’t about perfection; it’s about persistence.

 7. Be Kind to Yourself

Anxiety has a way of amplifying self-doubt, and it’s easy to feel like you’re failing if you’re not hitting arbitrary milestones. But the truth is, you’re doing the best you can with the tools you have. Give yourself grace. Growth is messy, and that’s okay.

So here’s the deal: "New Year, New You" is a myth. The better version of you isn’t hiding in a planner or a juice cleanse; she’s already here, waiting for you to nurture her. This year, let’s skip the unrealistic resolutions and focus on doing the real work. You’re worth it.

Happy 2025!! Let’s start the year by fixing what’s already beautiful about ourselves, not trying to replace it with someone new.